I can have hot drinks again. Let joy be unconfined. Oh coffee, how I’ve missed you. While I have been suffering tooth issues, I could just about tolerate a lukewarm beverage but coffee of any temperature sent my whole jaw into spasm. As did jogging. (No idea.) But all has been well since the root canal - which did not go smoothly at all, btw. I was VERY BRAVE and my dental surgeon told me afterwards that it was one of toughest jobs he’d had in a long time.
My delight at the return to caffeine - not to mention a farewell to a smorgasbord of painkillers - means I can give decent consideration to a back-log of promises to meet friends and colleagues for coffee.
“Let’s grab a coffee,” was something I remember from office days as a way to put a pin in conversation for which one didn’t have time at that precise moment - usually when running into (or away from) someone in a corridor. On the other hand, if someone emailed you, asking you to come for a coffee, it usually meant they needed something. Best case: just to pick your brains; worst case: to draft you onto a difficult project by stealth - it starts out all “let me pay, would you like a macaroon with that?” but before you know it, you’ve agreed to give up a big chunk of time to fix someone else’s problem.
NB: There is, of course, the third category of coffee invite - a pleading message from a pal, asking if you’ve got 10 minutes to grab a coffee. Which loosely translates as “please prevent me from committing a murder”. But that’s for another time.
In short, a coffee is an upgrade on a meeting - an altogether nicer, more comfortable experience. No one wants to go for a meeting; everyone wants to sit on a comfy chair with a cuppa and the chance of a biscuit. “Can I buy you a coffee?” is far more likely to get a positive response than “Will you sit in a brightly lit, airless room with me for 30 minutes while I grill you?”
It’s also low-level networking. When I first decided to change my career, inviting someone for coffee was incredibly valuable. I’d ask them to talk about their job and experiences, thus gleaning some valuable information and getting on their radar. There wasn’t much in it for them really but here are to two important secrets:
Most people like being helpful.
Most people like telling people who are genuinely interested about their work.
Not everyone conforms to these two rules of thumb. But someone who wants to keep their job shrouded in mystery probably isn’t going to be very useful to you. And someone who doesn’t like being helpful probably isn’t very nice.
In fact, when my students want to meet certain people and make contacts, the first thing I advise them to do is ask that person if they’d be up for a coffee and a chat.
These days, in Freelance World, all my networking happens online, usually over Zoom, often with people overseas. I haven’t had a face-to-face meeting with a client since December. And at the one formal interview to which I’ve been this year, half the panel were on screen rather than in the room. If you’re not already in the same building (or at least in the same part of town), why would you waste time travelling?
Meeting for a coffee is now something I do for pleasure. I made a new friend recently (I KNOW, RIGHT?) and she suggested meeting for a working coffee - ie, to meet in a place that sells coffee and work on our respective projects… which made me think, well, why? Isn’t that counterproductive? We’re obviously going to spend that whole time gassing. Or would we? Who we go quickly into library/office mode and just enjoy the company and accountability. God knows, I work much better in a communal space - and I can’t be the only one, hence the rise of the co-working space. And I’m even more productive when someone else I know is there - there’s something vaguely competitive going on that I can’t quite put my finger on. I find I’m catapulted back to university days, sitting in the library with a coursemate: every time I lost concentration I’d glance across and think: “How come they’ve written so much?”
Clearly, I’m missing out. It’s entirely possible to arrive at a place, chat briefly with acquaintances and then get on quietly with your work. After all, that’s basically what we do at the office, right?
Friday dance break
The most appropriate song I could find to celebrate a root canal. Although it’s important that I say that my dental surgeon was a very kind man and nothing like Steve Martin’s character in Little Shop of Horrors.
This week’s dance break is dedicated to friend and fellow tooth-sufferer Rebecca. 🦷