After the madness of last week’s late-night work-a-thons, life has been relatively sane at Freelance Towers. But going from 100mph back to a brisk stroll has robbed me of any ability focus. I know work expands to fit a space but even the smallest task is taking me hours - apparently I am now too relaxed.
I keep trying to reboot my brain and get into work mode. Sitting at desk (not on sofa) - tick. White noise app (I favour A Soft Murmur, thunderstorm setting) - tick. Cup of coffee - tick. Big glass of water - tick. Nothing is working. Is there something fundamentally wrong with me that I can only work hard when I’m really up against it?
Now, I’m deeply aware that only a few weeks ago, I was banging on about the weird emptiness of life after a deadline. But this isn’t that. I have plenty to do, thank you very much. There’s just less of it. The outcome is likely to be the same though if I don’t regain my focus: I’ll end up leaving everything until the last minute and have another almost-insurmountable pile of tasks to deal with in a few days.
Is my current self-sabotage a subconscious attempt to give myself a new set of extreme deadlines? Apparently, that’s the only way I’m able to do any real work. Or am I just a lazy idiot? (Therapists, do write in.)
And all the while, the little lifemin tasks keep piling up too. I can’t even procrastinate properly, FFS. You’d think I’d at least channel this stupidity into a bit of housework or filing.
The only upside to this slacker state is that I didn’t “press the send button in anger” and thus remained professional in an email tussle with an accounts department who have misused me beyond the endurance of a block*. (No, I didn’t say that in my reply either.)
*The fact that I checked my Shakespeare in an actual book, not on Google, tells you everything about my working methods this week.
So, what to do? If only someone had written a list of tips to help with exactly this situation … oh wait… I did! So, this newsletter is brought to you by Mr Poppie the toaster timer and the assorted delights of Radiooooo. Thanks for writing this down, past-Celine!
It occurs to me that, although this newsletter is at least 50% stream-of-conscious nonsense, there is some useful advice buried in there. So I will try to compile a useful ‘top tips’ edition in the coming weeks, with quick links back to previous instalments of Terrible Mistake. Like a pinned post on a community Facebook page with details of local plumbers - but with more whimsy.
Eurovision, baby!
Well, you know how much I love a pointless international contest, so it’s surely no surprise that I enjoy Eurovision. Let’s get in the mood for tomorrow’s show with one of my all-time faves: Lithuania’s “We are the winners of Eurovision” from 2006 (spoiler: they weren’t). Admittedly, it’s a touch repetitive but I urge you to hang on until 1m33s to see some of the most extraordinary dancing to ever grace the Eurovision stage.
Friday dance break
And on the subject of catchy tunes, I had a few enthusiastic replies about finishing with classic showtune One last week … in contrast to the response I got for including The Vengabus (sorry, not sorry). I started to wonder how many of you would enjoy a regular Friday dance break - like a good cup of coffee, something to help us do stupid things faster with more energy. So, time for a poll!
Shall I put a daft tune at the end of the newsletter every week?
Vote now! If everyone hates the idea, I won’t inflict it on you but I think it might be fun. Come on, just imagine: you and all your co-subscribers to this newsletter around the world doing The Hustle at the same time. Why are you not doing The Hustle?