Recent footballing events (ahem) have caused me to think a lot this week about women’s progress in the workplace. A bit of leap, I know, but stick with me.
In the past few weeks, I had a lot of trouble engaging with the Euros but I couldn’t work out what was turning me off. It wasn’t just my limited interest in football, a dislike of anything faintly nationalistic, or even the genuinely appalling pre- and post-match behaviour and racism (although that definitely didn’t help). There was something else bugging me that I couldn’t put my figure on. I only worked out what it was when the music stopped - literally. Three bloody Lions.
It’s not the song itself - although, by his own admission, David Baddiel was not a gifted singer. It’s that it conjures up something ugly: 90s laddism. And then something else: the ladette. That dreadful lie that women were sold - that the best thing to do about sexism was to emulate it. Then we’re all equal, right??? [Strangled screaming noise]
And as for getting on in work, women were similarly persuaded that the best thing to do was “join in”, be one of the lads. I’m not pretending I didn’t buy it - but I was still young at the time so had the disposable income and stamina to drink pints and pints every night after work. I got off lightly really - the only regret I have is that I spent a lot of time drinking with idiots instead of my real friends. I was never pressed into going to Spearmint Rhino, for instance, unlike some female colleagues. (I’m not here to shame anyone, by the way - you want to go to a strip club? You do you. I just don’t think it should be a prerequisite for professional advancement.)
That led me to spare a thought for my male colleagues. How many of them didn’t want to be there either? Scratch the surface, and I bet you’ll find plenty of men who were glad when lad culture was declared to be over. The line between socialising to cement working relationships and feeling obliged to put oneself in uncomfortable or threatening situations is not a fine one. It’s wide and bright red and it’s got flashing lights and sirens. But we stepped over it regardless.
And then I started thinking about older colleagues, especially those with family commitments. Here I found myself thinking particularly about women again. Not because of the difference in traditional gender roles (we haven’t got time to get into that here!) but because of all the other socio-cultural edicts they’d already had to deal with. A generation of women who had been told they should have it all or die trying.
If you’re not sure what I mean, you can get a glimpse of it on Aack Cast. I have previously recommended podcasts for older readers to tap into Millennial and Gen-Z culture but this one reminds us what many Boomer women went through. It looks back at the Cathy cartoon strip and argues that it is fundamentally misunderstood and that, although it is not the peak of feminist discourse, there are elements of satire and commentary that don’t get enough attention.
So Boomer women had already spent two decades being told how to run their professional lives. And then comes along the next generation to tell them that their real problem is that they aren’t going to pub enough. It’s amazing that there weren’t more workplace beatings.
Things have moved on a lot. (I was heartened that Aack Cast’s host didn’t know that MCP stood for “male chauvinist pig” and it took me a while to remember too. It feels like a good thing that this term has fallen out of popular usage.) I don’t doubt that there are still places where sexism hides behind “laddism” but at least we are aware that there’s something really wrong with that.
This is, however, separate to our drinking culture - very few workplaces are immune to that. Offices everywhere are soon going to be filling up again - and socialising with colleagues will be a genuine pleasure. But I’m very interested to see whether the after-work boozing is still as popular beyond the initial reunions. Maybe the cycle has been broken and we’ve all found better ways to spend our evenings? And more importantly, maybe we’ve all found better ways to demonstrate why we’re the best candidate for promotion?
And for anyone left wondering, yes, I did finally manage to get behind the England team (for all the good it did them). As many friends reminded me, here’s a bunch of young men who, not content with being star athletes, fight racism and campaign to stop food poverty - and that’s not even half of the ways in which they use their powers for good. And that is worthy of some support.
Main image by Patrick Fore on Unsplash
Stationery corner
New summertime hobby! But one that incorporates art supplies, natch. I'm going to take advantage of the fine weather and try nature sketching with these beauties (thank you, Sarah A!). I have low expectations of my talents. Pity the birds and insects that are about to be immortalised as badly-proportioned caricatures.
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One of the great things about moving out of London was that post-work drinks are less of a commitment. Obviously people still go for a beer after work but when you don't live a couple of hours away from work you are more likely to want to go home for your tea. Or you can go home, have your tea and come out again at a civilised hour. And people are more likely to be driving. Overall there is less of that 'well I'm out now...' thing that ends up getting messy.