It’s coming. The big four-day Jubilee weekend. Exciting, huh? Unless you oppose the very idea of monarchic rule, empire or nationalistic gatherings. Well, I’m not mad keen on any of those things … but I do like a party. Having just come back from a trip from the Netherlands where they were gearing up for the annual Kings Day celebration, I’ve caught a bit of the pointless-partying spirit, so I’m inclined to just go with it and enjoy the time off. We can smash the system another day. I am not planning to wear a suit made of flags but nor am I planning to be a miserablist.
Anyway, I have a get-out-of-jail-free card as it’s my birthday right in the middle of all the celebrations. So I’m just going to assume that all that bunting is for me. How nice of everyone to mark the occasion.
Whenever a royal celebration comes up, I’m reminded of working in a newsroom on Kate ‘n Wills’s wedding day. Work-wise it was a right laugh - super-busy and exciting in the way a newsroom always is during in a major news event* but without anyone being horribly injured, or anyone orange being elected to high office.
*You can argue about whether two people getting married constitutes major news but, whether you like it or not, it was a big event.
The editor running the show that day organised a buffet lunch and daft raffle for us, which was welcomed by most - but a few people were entirely opposed to the idea of “celebrating the monarchy”. Their protests fell on deaf ears and, if they did boycott the buffet, I can report that we ate their share of the sausage rolls.
My point being that, if you are violently opposed to everything royal, this probably isn’t going to be the weekend that you convince other people to join you. Sorry.
Admittedly, some workplaces will go over-the-top. You don’t have to be a card-carrying republican to feel uneasy about everything getting a bit too “flaggy”. And god knows enforced fun in the office is always excruciating, isn’t it? If you’re not really on board with your company’s fancy dress competition, I recommend you wear a Sex Pistols costume and recreate the 1976 Bill Grundy interview in the morning meeting. (OK, maybe not the second bit, it’s definitely NSFW.)
I have to admit that I’m very bad at refusing to join in with team-building activities, even when they make me want to gnaw my own arm off. Mostly because I feel for the person who’s been made to organise the damn thing. However, I absolutely draw the line at any sort of talent contest. I’d say the trick is to stick to your boundaries and not get railroaded into anything you suspect will haunt you for years to come. I haven’t seen your employment contract but I guarantee that your boss does not have the power to make you perform a rap version of the national anthem.
Friday dance break
This week’s selection is chosen with an eye on Her Maj’s celebrations - specifically a nod to the last raid-sodden Jubilee celebration. Let’s not forget that our best idea 10 years ago was to have our octogenarian monarch ride a barge round London in a howling gale. I hope she gets a better offer this time but, in honour of her stoicism, I offer this belter - Don’t Rain on My Parade.
No suggested dance moves in this clip, but give it plenty of shoulder work and big arms. Also spool forward to 2m38s to see Bab’s prescient homage to Liz.