Spectacular move
A bold choice or terrible mistake?
Good grief, Charlie Brown. Ever had a day when everything is slightly off? When nothing is quite what you hoped for, and every purchase comes with a free kick in the pants? Well, I had one of those last Saturday.
I’m not going to list all the mild disappointments because you would rightly roll your eyes and ask me whether I had any real problems. But top of the list was my new specs - see above picture. I spent a good chunk of change a couple of weeks ago on these new frames and new lenses - varifocals, no less, which are pricey.
I was pretty excited about it. A bold new look. When I was trying on frames, I put them on and instantly liked them. I thought:
“Yeah. I could be a statement-glasses person.”
And then I went to collect them on Saturday, I put them on again, looked in the mirror and thought:
“Oh my god, what the hell were you thinking? You’re not a statement-glasses person.”
I fear that I have accidentally bought a pair of comedy-disguise spectacles and all that’s missing is a fake moustache. Nonetheless, I am persevering as I need to wear them for two weeks straight to make sure the prescription is right. Although I will have to pop back to the optician to have the arms stretched out a bit. After a few hours wear, I feel like someone is crushing my head.
So far, people either haven’t noticed (which I find baffling because when I look in the mirror all I see is GLASSES. MASSIVE GREEN GLASSES) or they have said nice things. But then they are hardly likely to tell me they hate them. And, yes, it did occur to me that the people who “haven’t noticed” might be applying the old “if you can’t say anything nice…” rule. Or that the people who say nice things might be Regina George.
Anyway, one of my colleagues liked them very much and I told her of my doubts. Her response was:
“But you own some statement glasses now so you are a statement-glasses person. Look - you’re wearing them and everything.”
Her logic is undeniable.
I have begun to wonder whether I am just scarred by an earlier visit to an achingly cool Cubitts eyewear store where I could not get arrested. Clearly, their staff didn’t think I was a statement-glasses person either.
Is this just the sartorial equivalent of imposter syndrome? I’ve been reading more and more that imposter syndrome is actually a normal state of mind and we should embrace it to some extent. And anyone who doesn’t suffer from imposter syndrome occasionally is probably a psychopath or an idiot. Sidenote: I also read that, contrary to popular belief, men are equally likely to suffer imposter syndrome but our collective social conditioning allows them the opportunity to mask it more easily than women.
Imposter syndrome, allegedly, starts with our brain raising a massive red flag. To use a motoring analogy, the brain is warning us we are on an unfamiliar or tricky road and should proceed with caution because we don’t know the turns. Please drive carefully. It’s that wretch, the inner critic, who turns this message into “you’re not good enough”. The inner critic suggests we should pull over and give the keys to someone who’s better at driving.
It seems plausible doesn’t it? The brain is always trying to protect us from danger - it doesn’t want us to be hurt either physically or emotionally. Don’t go near the edge. Don’t go to the job interview unprepared. Don’t wear specs that may expose you to ridicule.
If true, clearly, the trick is acknowledge the warning with a cheery “Thanks, brain!” and then respond to any further commentary from the inner critic with a firm “Shush, you. We’re doing something different today. Now, sit quietly and do your Puzzler.”
And, thinking about it now, isn’t fear of ridicule half the problem with work-based imposter syndrome too? The reason we don’t speak up in meetings or put our suggestions forward, for instance? Well, as you know, this newsletter does not support the fear of ridicule.
I had to be talked into three-quarters of my current regular freelance gigs because I thought I wouldn’t be good enough. And I will now acknowledge that the persuaders in question were right. I am not only good enough for the job, I am excellent at it and enjoy the work. And I know that I’m lucky that there were people prepared to convince me to take the opportunities in front of me - not everyone has that kind of support.
It’s this that makes me doubt the whole “everyone gets imposter syndrome” line. Because we’ve all experienced people who are appalling at their jobs but must have had the confidence to talk their way into those roles. And god knows we’ve all heard a lot of people spouting rubbish in meetings without a hint of shame. Where’s their imposter syndrome? Sitting quietly with a Puzzler? Or are these people all just idiots/psychopaths? Whatever the answer, we owe it to ourselves not to let them have all the fun - or all the good jobs.
I’ll give the specs another week. I’ll be the judge of who’s a statement-glasses person, thank you.
Friday dance break
I did briefly consider The Wiggles’ I’ve Got My Glasses On (some bold eyewear choices here) but it’s not really the banger that this slot demands. So let’s turn to the Spice Girls for some encouragement to be bolder in our choices this weekend.